Two Girls, One Cup(id). Part Two.
Deleted. Terrible idea. It was funny when you’ve got a bottle of wine to the dome.
Ugh, I feel so gross.
Two Girls, One Cup(id).
Typically when single women “hate men”, or are “cynical about relationships”, or go out for “girls’ nights”, they are suffering from low self-esteem and cry at night, dreaming about finally getting that wedding dress that they have always wanted. Ever since they were a child.
Not at the Pawn Shop.
I tried my hand at online dating last year and I really did it as more of a joke. And what a joke it was. The three dates that I went on continue to get a laugh from friends and acquaintances alike, and I get off on it. It’s colorful. Would I ever do it again? No. Hells to the no. I do not need a date that bad. And I don’t need entertaining material that bad either.
So while listening to Stevie Nicks and Kiss (not by choice, Alex), talking about the cons of online dating, and swilling wine, my roommate and I thought it would be fun to create a joint okcupid profile as a social experiment. The anticipation of how many Vermont rednecks will get their Carhartts in a bunch over the mock-seriousness is almost too much for me. I’m a sick fuck.
Hey Tumblr…
I’m back. I’m trying to figure out if I want to continue blogging about the trials and tribulations of the bar industry from a scathing, cynical, heartless point of view or steer the topic in a different direction, especially since I no longer sling drinks at an upscale dump anymore. I might just blog about flannels, men with beards, and log cabins.
Stay tuned…
Just the Tip. Tip #176
Don’t ask for a “Strong Island”. Just don’t. You clearly don’t know what a Long Island Iced Tea is then. It’s a pint of booze, grossly mixed together, then topped with minute amounts of sour and cola, which is boring and hangover-inducing.
I care so very little that I have been responding, “Sir. There really is no more room in the glass to make it stronger. It’s a pint of booze.” Perhaps I will suggest next time to just purchase a bottle of Bacardi 151. Yum.
Things overheard at a bar…Part Two
So this wasn’t really overheard, but it does fall into the new Things Overheard At A Bar series. My roommate works at the bar next door to mine. She was waiting in line for the bathroom last weekend during her shift and a very drunk girl in a minidress initiated a conversation with her as follows:
Girl: “Hey, you work here, right? My brother comes in all of the time to see you. He really likes you.”
Raquel*: “Oh really? Who is he?”
Girl: “John Doe*. Ohmygod, I’m so drunk. I love dancing. Do you love dancing? I love dancing. I come every weekend.”
Raquel (thinking to herself that she just wants to get back behind the bar): “Cool, that’s nice. I….”
::trails off::
Raquel is suddenly standing in liquid. Drunk girl has fluid gushing from between her legs. No, her water didn’t break. She is peeing herself. Uncontrollably. Straight onto the floor. Conveniently wearing a minidress.
*names have been changed to protect the innocent and peed-on.
Things Overheard In A Bar
Girl approaches bar, recognizes barback.
Girl: “Hey, you’re in my 9am Sociology class, right?”
Barback: “Oh, yeah, I am. How’s it going?”
Girl: “Good! I show up for that class so coked up all of the time!”
::Barback stares::
All of the time? You must be rich. Let’s hang.
You know students are filtering back to town when…
Vomit is spewed in public places with the velocity of Old Faithful. I Swear To God, if there are any repeat performances of the past couple weeks, I will give a homeless man $20 to come in and clean it up. Well…..maybe $10. Welcome back, UVM. (not).
Rain is my catharsis.
So many emotions have come up to the surface today. Many of them have resulted in tears; be it joy, sorrow, grief, nostalgia. Whatever. It was just a day of remembrance and disregarding all trivial things…like what I write about here. They are not important.
Tonight I got a pity party from a close friend when he said, “I hate what you deal with on a daily basis. I wish I could take it away. You are such a good person, you really don’t deserve anything less. The people that belittle you, demean you…they don’t matter.” This went on for a bit. We were talking about the bar biz, but I suspect we both knew it meant something more. It meant a lot to me.
Someone near and dear to me tonight discussed a suicide in the family. I guess I can handle that topic, because I don’t know what that is like directly. But I also can’t handle it, because it took my all not to burst into sympathetic tears that is characteristic of me. It’s not fair. I would do anything to remove that pain from his life.
Then I dealt with cancer. My client (at my other job) has terminal cancer. Cancer is a topic I find really hard to deal with. My family has suffered from this. My friends have suffered from this. My family from another time in my life has suffered from this. And I suppose I haven’t dealt with a lot of those repercussions and instead suppressed and became a very stoic, guarded person with a Berlin Wall up surrounding me. Indirectly, cancer, and the baggage that came along with it most recently, has fucked up any type of relationship I have tried to forge with anyone. Literally, everyone.
The aforementioned friend tonight tried to reassure me of life’s misfortunes. We spoke of shallow things and all of a sudden I wanted to yell, “You don’t know what it’s like to have cancer!”. I automatically wanted to do that from the pain that I harbor.
But he did know. He had cancer when he was 18. Bad. And, holy shit, he is so resilient. I wish he knew how much people admire him for that.
In the past, I drank to numb the pain of loss. Right now, I crave sobriety to feel the jagged, cutting impact that life, love, loss, inspiration, and joy has on oneself. I never thought I could feel that again. I spent about two years living under a masked cloud, convinced that I wouldn’t really feel again, and numbed by copious amounts of alcohol, solitude, and meaningless attempts to fill voids. I think a lot of people do that in their twenties. That’s reassuring. Pain hurts. I realized I have let go of a lot of the pain I carried around. I’m setting myself up for various falls now, but at least I feel alive again.
